Marriage Problems But Can’t Pluck Up Courage To Walk Out

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Dear Laura,
I have been having marriage problems for some time now but can’t seem to pluck up enough courage to walk out, mostly because I’m worried of where my future lies.

Since having these troubles I’ve spoken to a medium, had a tarot reading and participated on a ouija board looking for answers. I was told by the medium and through the ouija board that an ex boyfriend was going to be coming back into my life and that we would eventually marry. At this point of time though it seems an absolute impossibility as we live on opposite sides of the world. We are however communicating by email and I have noticed a slight change in our talk but nothing to indicate that we will eventually end up together. I am so confused right now and wish I’d never been given this info as I can’t seem to clear my mind of those thoughts. So, my question to you is – what if anything can you see of my future as this stage?
–Regards, Teresa

Dear Theresa,

Well, for starters, I see you learning not to mess with ouija boards again! The most striking thing about your email is that you know you aren’t where you are supposed to be in your marriage, but would rather stay in that familiar zone of pain rather than risk finding happiness by striking out on your own. You think you can’t leave unless another man is in the picture to shore you up. So here’s the important questions: What happened to loving yourself enough to take care of yourself? What happened to make you feel so devalued on your own and fearful of the future? Why do you think you need a new man in your life in order to facilitate change? These are the bigger issues of your soul that need to be explored with a good therapist. When you can begin to learn how to love yourself, and take care of yourself, then you will be able to make empowered decisions and attract in a healthy partner. You are worth more in life than what you are positioning yourself for. I will be rooting for you to reach for change… because the pain of not changing is worse than the pain of change itself.