I pray that you can help me out. my father was very mean to me and my sisters when we were small, he was sexually abusive and a terrible father. He is not well at all now and I just know that his death is not far away. My question to you is I am so scared when he dies that he will be earth bound and continue to abuse us as he has done in the past. We have already agreed not to talk about him when he dies for fear he will hear and haunt us. What can we do to prevent this from happening?
I am very sorry to hear of your pain and continued fears. They have dictated to you quite a lot over your lifetime, and when you are ready, you can let them go. You don’t have to wait for your father to die in order to take your life power back. You can start anytime you choose by changing your thoughts and using affirmations. The real power is always in the present moment.
Victimizers, persecutors, controllers and such, are here to teach the rest of us about humanity, boundaries, and more. The behaviors they choose can wreak havoc in our lives, scar our hearts and minds, and challenge us in infinite ways. It is important to understand that at any time we can choose to change how we think about them and therefore change our life experiences.
I suggest that you and your sisters begin by working with a professional counselor who is experienced in the types of traumas that you have had. Pick up Louise Hay’s classic book, You Can Heal Your Life and her accompanying workbook and use them. This will give you some step by step tools for understanding and navigating this new territory of metaphysical energy.
It is time to let your father go. Stop giving him energy by continuing to let him invade your thoughts and fears. You are an adult now, not the helpless little girls he once wounded so deeply. A good professional therapist will help you to remember that. In time, you can learn how to feel safe again, and how to love and take care of yourself in new, healthier ways.
Remember, the only person you can control is you, and if you put all your energy into fear, then there will be little room for living and doing the learning and growing that you really came here for. I send you peace and understanding friend, along with my heartfelt prayers for healing, and a poem that has helped me time and again…
‘There’s only one way to climb you know, you have to let go of the rung below; you have to let go of the rung below.’ ~ unknown