…When To Fire A Friend

Dear Laura,
One of my friends recently let me down on something she agreed to. When I tried to tell her that I was hurt and upset, she got nasty and blamed me. I wasn’t prepared for her attack on top of the letdown. It was doubly hurtful. Looking back, now I can see a pattern of her needs always coming first, and mine not being taken seriously by her. I consider myself to be a spiritual person, but does that mean that I have to participate in relationships where I feel disrespected and unheard?
— Still Smarting in CT

Dear SS,

Being spiritual doesn’t mean that you have to be a doormat. It sounds like this person simply isn’t able to be the type of friend that you need anymore. Although it is sad to let go of relationships that no longer serve us, it is important to love yourself enough to be willing to do it. Life has a way of providing us with opportunities for change all the time. I like to call them “invitations.” Many relationships are transitory, because remember, we are in a state of learning and growing. Some are moving faster than others, and from time to time things fall apart a little to invite in change.

This is your chance to evaluate what you want in new friendships. It’s like changing over your closet with the seasons: you look at what you have, decide what works, what needs replacing or repairing, and then determine what you are missing and go shopping. In this case, I would say go “manifesting.” Sit and write out a list of what you are looking for in new friendships. Be specific. Read it out loud from time to time and know that you have been heard.

By letting go of what no longer works, you are making room for what you want to bring in. You are raising your vibration of self-love and self-worth and inviting in healthier relationships to mirror this and better support you. The Universe will respond. And remember, “It’s not the letting go that hurts, it’s the holding on.”