Navigating Nuclear Family With Jealous People

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Dear Laura,
My husband and I have been separated for almost four years now. He has lived with his girlfriend for three years and they have been having problems for some time now and are seeking counseling. He and I are great friends and he calls me almost everyday although he & don’t think we could work things out as far as living together and his girlfriend has a problem with our friendship. My daughter tolerates the girlfriend but the girlfriend insists on attending every event with her father including our (mine & my daughters) hobby of riding and showing horses and neither of us want that which is causing problems in her fathers relationship with his girlfriend when he wants to spend time with us at the ranch. We are civil with his girlfriend but we do not want to share every event with her too. What should I do to help the situation?
–Dena L.

Dear Dena,

All parents, especially estranged ones, need to spend time alone, one-on-one with their children. That means there will be events where your daughter and her father get to privately connect, and you will not be included. The issue here is really between your estranged husband and his girlfriend. He needs to be clearer about which invitations are extended to him, and which invitations are extended to him and her as a couple. You can help do your part by being fair when extending those invitations, and making sure to extend some of both. The rest is up to him.